Idle Thoughts and Random Links

Moving

2007-03-16T19:17:00.000-04:00

For various reasons I've decided to start fresh elsewhere ... you can now find my blog at http://bluebunny.wordpress.com/

Frustration

2007-03-02T15:01:00.000-05:00

Ever feel like you're banging your head against a wall?

That's the way I've been feeling a LOT lately.

I hear the message "reach out", ask for help, be willing to admit when I can't do it on my own. Where some say there are answers, none are forthcoming for me. Clarity does not come, reassurance is absent, comfort unattainable. Companionship fluttering out of my grasp.

I find myself calling much into question lately. Where I find myself, where I'm heading, my beliefs, my desires ....

I feel lost. alone. limited. frustrated. like a hampster running around in a wheel - not really going anywhere, not doing any real good.

and I'm sick of it.

I want to have purpose. meaning. to feel needed and wanted. to give of myself in a meaningful way. to pour out the passion I know is within.

I feel like I must be doing something wrong, but I don't know what. Einstein said "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" ... so why is it I try in different ways, with different people, different approaches, different techniques I end up in the same quagmire of depression, disssatisfaction, loneliness, dissillusionment, disenchantment and just plain BLAHness?

Socks!

2007-02-24T20:59:00.000-05:00

I finished off the socks I'd been knitting myself finally ... I'd post a pic, but that would require my taking them off to get the lighting decent & that's not happening! I finally see what the fuss is about - they are the most comfortable socks I've ever had! It's rare that my feet don't feel frozen in the wintertime & they are just nicely warm :)

I've already cast on for my second pair. :)

Whatever Happened to the Kindness of Strangers?

2007-02-23T09:06:00.000-05:00

We got hit with some pretty nasty weather yesterday & everyone's been driving more cautiously, myself included. This morning the roads were clear and barely an iy patch to be seen. I managed to find one.

I'd slowed down to enter the turning lane and hit a long stretch of black ice. There was nothing I could do - if I steered the car right, I'd slide into oncoming traffic. I hit the brakes and hung on. I was fortunate I was going so slow - the car slid the whole length of the lane (and it's a long one!) bumped onto the concrete island dividing the turn lane from the main road, knocked over a street sign but came to a stop before hitting the traffic light pole, thank goodness!

I sat there for a moment, stunned. A woman waiting at the lights was looking directly at me. There were plenty of cars around who saw what happened. Not one stopped. Not one rolled down a window to ask if I was ok.

I waited a moment to be sure I was ok, and drove off unhurt and the car only a little scratched, thankful it wasn't worse but feeling very dissapointed in people.

sick

2007-02-16T19:53:00.000-05:00

The absolute worst part for me about being a single mother is when I get sick. Lots of other stuff is hard, lots makes my heart about want to burst, lots make me feel. helpless but when I get sick - REALLY sick, I AM helpless.

I managed to get to the dr's office this afternoon to get diagnosed with some kind of throat infection - maybe strep. I took a course of antibiotics as soon as I paid for them. I dosed myself with ibuprofin.

Then I got the shakes. BAD. I got scared - my little one is not quite ready to handle making a phone call should I become incapacitated. I downed fluid, stole one of his freezies. An hour in I called my friend, who was a nurse for advice. I couldn't even think sraight.

My friend reminded me I could take some ASA as well, so I did. The shakes continued for another hour. That's a LONG time :(

I'm relieved to be finally feeling like I'm thinking straight again, and to have stopped shivering. It's almost The Child's bedtime and I'll does myself up one more time with antiobiotics and line up the asa & ibuprofin by the bed and hope that a god night sleep helps improve matters immensely so I can at least pretend to be supermom again in the morning!

Give your boss the heave-ho

2007-02-15T16:43:00.000-05:00

From Office Playground, the Boss Toss!

Unusual class project

2007-02-15T10:21:00.000-05:00

Children make coffin for dying teacher

"Crowned in Peace"

2007-02-12T22:26:00.000-05:00

A friend sent me a link to an incredbily sad video on youtube that briefly told the story of a little boy who lost his life due to seat belt failure. The parents of the boy had published the video to promote seat belt saftey awarenss. They are recommending parents look for car seats that have 5-point harnesses that can hold up to 80lbs as if their son had been in a 5-pt harness he would still be alive today.

Definitely a good message to hear. More rsearch to be done on my part as the family in question lives in the Sates and safety standards are different here in Canada, so investigation is needed.

BUT that's not why I'm posting tonight. Something on the related playlist caught my eye; "the life of noah steven" Being curious, I clicked it & the video started playing. I stopped it only a moment in, as from the photo montage alone I could work out the essentials. A link to a blog was listed above the video. Off I went to read. and read. and read. and cry.

The story of this family has short-circuited most of my brain cells at the moment. I'm amazed at the amount of love, faith, strength and togetherness this family shows in their pictures and posts. They have gone through some awful times and have managed to remain positive and able to see the good in this world.

So, I'm suggesting a peek at the blog, which is as much as story about Faith as it is about this beautiful boy and his loving parents and sister ..... take some kleenex with you....

Noah Steven Crowned in Peace

"I dead you!!"

2007-02-09T12:28:00.000-05:00

The Child's newest favourite phrase - perhaps we've watched a little too much Siderman and Harry Potter lately!

A Giving Heart

2007-02-07T13:50:00.000-05:00

Go read Troll Baby . Take some kleenex. 's all.

Free Tax Programs

2007-02-06T09:44:00.000-05:00

GenuTax - 30 day trial
Taxman 2006
StudioTax

I haven't tried any of these myself and none have e-file capability - I think the idea is you enter your amounts intop the programs, let them do the calculations & copy onto the paper form & mail that away.

This has been your public service announcement of the day :)

Money, money, money!

2007-02-06T09:11:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been spending more time than I'd like trying to re-work my budget. It astounds me how it is I make a decent salary yet am always broke.

Out of curiosity (ok and maybe I was a little bored too!) I decided to work out how my monthly earnings were being divided up:

25% goes to rent

21% to daycare

13% utilities

17% goes to car-related expenses (car payment, insurance, gas)

16% is for food

less than 1% clothes the kiddo & I

less than 1% to debts

pharmacy-stuff, coffee money, entertainment, insurance (life & renter's) and charitable donatrions make up the last 6% - I didn't bother breaking them each down

Notice anything missing? Yep, I have NOTHING going to savings. Or RRSP's. Or an RESP. And that's with tweaking and re-working the darn thing a bazillion-and-one times. Something is just very very wrong there!

I just can't fathom how other single parents DO it! In fact, I can't fathom how any single-income family manages to do more than get by! I'm better off than some, I know, but my kid isn't doing any sports, our entertainment consists of an outing to the Children's Museum or the library, maybe the video store, we shop mainly at consignment stores & sales, my car is nothing special - our life is not at all luxurious.

It's a mystery to me how some folk seem to have so much more. I suppose though the key word is seem - I guess I have no way of *knowing* the truth ....

Yet I still feel like a failure when it comes to money. I feel like I'm letting my son down by not providing the nest, by not being able to save for his future or mine! The only good thing I can say is I've paid off a staggering amount of debt since separating and if I can manage to keep it up, it should be all gone by the end of this year (other than the car payments). Depressing though that will only free up 1% of my monthly salary! *sigh*

I've got Sunshine on a Cloudy Day ....

2007-01-26T21:59:00.000-05:00

LOL! thanks Douglas, for the comment!!! Here's what I probably deserved:

(I know, I know, something about lost marbles, right???)

Blah

2007-01-25T11:34:00.000-05:00

This time of year sucks. Please send sunshine.

whimper.

Tribute to Canada

2007-01-03T11:35:00.000-05:00

Received this from a friend and it's well worth passing along! Not sure on the original date of publication - too lazy to google it, lol!

Sunday Telegraph Article
From today's UK wires: Salute to a brave and modest nation
Kevin Myers, The Sunday Telegraph

LONDON - Until the deaths last week of four Canadian soldiers
accidentally killed by a U.S. warplane in Afghanistan, probably almost no
one outside their home country had been aware that Canadian troops were
deployed in the region. And as always, Canada will now bury its dead, just
as the rest of the world as always will forget its sacrifice, just as it
always forgets nearly everything Canada ever does.

It seems that Canada's historic mission is to come to the selfless
aid both of its friends and of complete strangers, and then, once the crisis
is over, to be well and truly ignored. Canada is the perpetual wallflower
that stands on the edge of the hall, waiting for someone to come and ask her
for a dance. A fire breaks out, she risks life and limb to rescue her fellow
dance-goers, and suffers serious injuries. But when the hall is repaired
and the dancing resumes, there is Canada, the wallflower still, while those
she once helped glamorously cavort across the floor, blithely neglecting her
yet again.

That is the price Canada pays for sharing the North American
continent with the United States, and for being a selfless friend of Britain
in two global conflicts. For much of the 20th century, Canada was torn in
two different directions: It seemed to be a part of the old world, yet had
an address in the new one, and that divided identity ensured that it never
fully got the gratitude it deserved.

Yet its purely voluntary contribution to the cause of freedom in two
world wars was perhaps the greatest of any democracy. Almost 10% of Canada's
entire population of seven million people served in the armed forces during
the First World War, and nearly 60,000 died. The great Allied victories of
1918 were spearheaded by Canadian troops, perhaps the most capable soldiers
in the entire British order of battle.

Canada was repaid for its enormous sacrifice by downright neglect,
its unique contribution to victory being absorbed into the popular Memory as
somehow or other the work of the "British." The Second World War provided a
re-run. The Canadian navy began the war with a half dozen vessels, and ended
up policing nearly half of the Atlantic against U-boat attack. More than 120
Canadian warships participated in the Normandy landings, during which 15,000
Canadian soldiers went ashore on D-Day alone. Canada finished the war with
the third-largest navy and the fourth-largest air force in the world.

The world thanked Canada with the same sublime indifference as it
had the previous time. Canadian participation in the war was acknowledged in
film only if it was necessary to give an American actor a part in a campaign
in which the United States had clearly not participated - a touching
scrupulousness which, of ourse, Hollywood has since abandoned, as it has any
notion of a separate Canadian identity.

So it is a general rule that actors and filmmakers arriving in
Hollywood keep their nationality - unless, that is, they are Canadian. Thus
Mary Pickford, Walter Huston, Donald Sutherland, Michael J. Fox, William
Shatner, Norman Jewison, David Cronenberg, Alex Trebek, Art Linkletter and
Dan Aykroyd have in the popular perception become American, and Christopher
Plummer, British. It is as if, in the very act of becoming famous, a
Canadian ceases to be Canadian, unless she is Margaret Atwood, who is as
unshakably Canadian as a moose, or Celine Dion, for whom Canada has proved
quite unable to find any takers.

Moreover, Canada is every bit as querulously alert to the
achievements of its sons and daughters as the rest of the world is
completely unaware of them. The Canadians proudly say of themselves - and
are unheard by anyone else - that 1% of the world's population has provided
10% of the world's peacekeeping forces. Canadian soldiers in the past half
century have been the greatest peacekeepers on Earth - in 39 missions on UN
mandates, and six on non-UN peacekeeping duties, from Vietnam to East Timor,
from Sinai to Bosnia.

Yet the only foreign engagement that has entered the popular
on-Canadian imagination was the sorry affair in Somalia, in which
out-of-control paratroopers murdered two Somali infiltrators. Their regiment
was then disbanded in disgrace - a uniquely Canadian act of self-abasement
for which, naturally, the Canadians received no international credit.

So who today in the United States knows about the stoic and selfless
friendship its northern neighbour has given it in Afghanistan? Rather like
Cyrano de Bergerac, Canada repeatedly does honourable things for honourable
motives, but instead of being thanked for it, it remains something of a
figure of fun.

It is the Canadian way, for which Canadians should be proud, yet such
honour comes at a high cost. This week, four more grieving Canadian families
knew that cost all too tragically well.

Season's Greetings!

2006-12-25T11:27:00.000-05:00

Concealed Weapon?

2006-11-04T19:54:00.000-05:00

Ok, this story had me laughing out loud!!!

John Sheehan, 33, was arrested yesterday near a train station in El Cerrito, California after police responded to reports that he was lying on a tree stump masturbating. When police asked Sheehan whether he was carrying anything like a weapon, he responded that he had an awl stored in his ass. Police were planning to bring Sheehan to the emergency room but he kindly removed the tool himself before an ambulance was called. From the Contra Costa Times:

Mindful that a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape could be used as a weapon, officers kept their weapons trained on the 33-year-old.

Sheehan went quietly afterward, without explanation.

Sheehan was paroled from state prison last week... Police booked him into County Jail in Martinez on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.

Getting Inked

2006-11-02T13:49:00.000-05:00

It occurs to me I've neglected to share a fairly recent experience!

For my last birthday I decided to get myself a tattoo.

I'd been thinking about it for a looong time, just hadn't been able to decide on what or where but finally made a decision. I did a couple of doodles, took 'em to a well-recommended shop and after two sessions of about an hour in the chair this is what I have to show:

Hurray for Hallowe'en !

2006-11-02T13:47:00.000-05:00

Ain't he just the cutest thing??

Gettin' Ripped

2006-10-20T14:01:00.000-04:00

Well, I finally got off my arse & rejoined the gym last month. It feels sooooo good to be getting back there! I'm loving hitting the weights again and even tolerate cardio these days, lol!

I've joined some weight-lifting forums & my goal is basically to get in kick-ass shape! lol!

Just thought I'd share! :)

Banned Books

2006-10-02T12:11:00.000-04:00

I'm shamelessly stealing this from Solo Mom

Banned Books Week

Solo Mom writes:

"My favourite Stephen King quotation is about banned books. His advice is that if someone tells you can't read something, run, don't walk, to your local library and find out for yourself what all the fuss is about.

In honour of Banned Books Week, I'm offering a meme of sorts. Below is the ALA list of the 100 most frequently challenged books, 1990-2000. Bold the ones you've read. And then run, don't walk, to your local library."

Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
Forever by Judy Blume
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Giver by Lois Lowry
It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Sex by Madonna
Earth's Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
The Goats by Brock Cole
Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Blubber by Judy Blume
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
Final Exit by Derek Humphry
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
Deenie by Judy Blume
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
Cujo by Stephen King
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
Fade by Robert Cormier
Guess What? by Mem Fox
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Native Son by Richard Wright
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by Nancy Friday
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Jack by A.M. Homes
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
Carrie by Stephen King
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
Family Secrets by Norma Klein
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
The Dead Zone by Stephen King
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
Private Parts by Howard Stern
Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford
Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
Sex Education by Jenny Davis
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

Hours of Browsing Fun!

2006-09-20T11:16:00.000-04:00

I couldn't pick just one favourite from this store; you'll just have to check it out yourself! The name is perfect!

Creature Comforts

2006-09-19T10:09:00.000-04:00

What a much more friendly-looking way to sooth a sore back or warm cold tootsies than those old-fashioned rubber water bottles!

"MomAngel"

2006-09-18T10:15:00.000-04:00

A dear friend's mother passed away yesterday morning and it's just hit me hard. "MomAngel" as she was affectionately known was a strong woman who battled breast cancer for quite some time but various complications caught up with her.

My heart goes out to her family and I wish there was more I could do.

Photographic Periodic Table

2006-09-12T13:27:00.000-04:00

This is the coolest periodic table ever!

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

2006-09-12T13:00:00.000-04:00

Bottled ice cubes???? Check 'em out here.

2006-09-07T14:54:00.000-04:00

Too many people in my life have been affected by Breast Cancer, so I have decided to join in the Canadian Breast Cancer Run for the Cure, on Sunday, October 1st, 2006.

This year, an estimated 22,300 Canadian women and 160 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer. We know research is making a difference. Lives are being saved through earlier detection, and more effective treatments are improving the quality of life for those who receive this devastating diagnosis.

I am one of 170,000 participants who will all be walking or running on Sunday, October 1st and I would dearly love your support. Donating online is quick, easy and secure! You can pay by credit card and within 30 minutes, you will receive a tax receipt for any donation that has been successfully received. Your donation will be added to the critical funds raised by the Run, and will be directed towards research, education and awareness programs.

If you have a name you'd like me to add to my list of who I'm walking for, let me know! If you'd like to join, I'd love the ompany!

Thank you. I appreciate your support!

Donate now

When is it MY Turn???

2006-08-17T14:18:00.000-04:00

Vent ON

It's been just over two years now since separating. In that time I've met ONE guy for coffee. No dates.

My ex has had a girlfriend/lover for over nine months now. My best friend separated a year ago and has a boyfriend. My neighbour separated a few months ago & has dates coming out the ying-yang. Another neighbour has been seeing someone for a few months now. Another friend broke up with her boyfriend a couple weeks ago and has been asked out on a date by someone else. When the HELL is it MY turn??

I've been getting out a lot this year, doing lots of different things, been really working at putting my life back together & overall despite my battles with depression, I think I've been doing a good job of it. My friends say I'm smart, funny, good-looking & fun to be with. Are they blowing smoke up my ass? If not, where the hell are the guys who think that?

Tried tha dating site thing - and the only offers I got were NOT for dating!

I MISS having someone to talk to about everyday stuff, to share my hopes and dreams with, to philosophize with, to laugh with. I miss the intimacy of a big hug, a liongering kiss, a soft touch, arms around me at night. I miss "in" jokes and doing things for a man I care about. I miss feeling wanted, needed and respected in a role other than mother.

I want to meet someone, get to know them, date, explore each other's minds and bodies and souls ........

but I can't even get to the first part if feels like!

:(

rant OFF

Sending Out an S.O.S.

2006-08-09T12:45:00.000-04:00

Send your very own message in a bottle

NSFW

2006-08-01T12:45:00.000-04:00

I soooooo want this shirt - it would be perfect to wear to the office on a Friday! :) The smaller writing reads "Co-Workers strongly cautioned. Some material may not be appropriate in a work environment."

Life Experiences Meme

2006-07-19T08:44:00.000-04:00

Bold the ones you've done..

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne.
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your cds
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain <-- I so want to do this!
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party (Ha! Yesterday, in fact!!)
75. Gotten divorced (well, separated, not divorced yet)
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81 Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror.
96. Raised children. (in process!)
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery (breast reduction)
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach (ewwwwwwwwwww!)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language (language? no. program, yes)
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146: Dyed your hair
147: Been a DJ
148: Shaved your head
149: Caused a car accident (minor fender bender)
150: Saved someone's life

Pardon my Language

2006-07-18T20:09:00.000-04:00

... but I am soooooo fucking depressed and soooo fucking TIRED of being depressed.

I hate this. really really hate it. I did EVERYTHING I am "supposed to" to try & combat it today. Ate well, excercised, got some sunshine, talked to friends ... I tried to read & couldn't concentrate, managed to play with my son for a bit before the monster in my brain dragged my ass back down.

Saw the dr just yesterday .. and of course I felt halfway decent while there. I'm out of sick days at work & the idea of reduced pay stresses me out but so does the idea of going back full-time. I'm imagining that's part of what's brought me into the pit today.

*SIGH*

I fucking HATE this.

Bigger & Better Bartering

2006-07-12T10:31:00.000-04:00

This is just one of the coolest stories I've read in a while! A blogger by the name of Kyle McDonald decides to try and barter his way into something bigger and better, starting from one red paper clip. Read about each of his trades on his blog!

Angry Women are Bitches

2006-07-07T11:19:00.000-04:00

At least according to the majority of uis ;... here's a very well written post saying differently: here

New Look

2006-07-01T23:04:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Blogger Templates I have a nice, fresh new look! :)

I've done very little customization so far, but I'm sure I'll be workign on that shortly! :)

Unexpected Answer

2006-06-29T20:30:00.000-04:00

I was sitting outside with my friend, who also happens to be a single mother. A rather good-looking fellow walked up to us & tarted blathering on about some coupons he wanted to sell. We both nodded our heads but cut him off before he got to far explaining we had no cash & no credit cards.

"No problem! I can come back tomorrow!" he quips.

"What time"? I ask.

We set a time, he walks on to the next area, my friend stares after him.

"Who CARES what time? Are you maried? Are you single? Do you have a girlfriend??"

From her lap her son laughs "NO Mommy! I not married!!"

You just never know where you're going to get an answer from sometimes, lol!

Blogging Chicks

2006-06-29T08:58:00.000-04:00

Well I decided to add my voice to the Blogging Chicks blogroll! :)

This quote:

"The whole blogosphere could be full of us. Think about it, the chickosphere."
Mrs. Lifecruiser of Lifecruiser.com

made me giggle & I think the concept is neat! :) Go sign yourself up!

ACK! and WoooHooo! all at once

2006-06-23T10:50:00.000-04:00

Well, THE letter arrived yesterday. My son has just had a spot in JK confirmed. He & I did the Happy Dance at the mailbox :)

Once I got him into his bike helmet so he could happily ride around the courtyeard I read tha actual package - you should SEE the list of supplies! Good grief, I'm gonna be outfitting this lady's craft cuppies for the year!! What the heck? Maybe I should forward the list on to our local government??

I am so thankful that my son's daycare walks the kids over to chool & back - I have to admit the whole idea of drop-off at a BIG school scares the pants off me (and that is NOT a pretty sight folks!) Drop-offs are bad at daycare at least half the time - I am SO not up to attempting to drop Mr. "I'm Handsome NOT Cute!" off in a school-yard (parents are not permitted to enter the coat room!! :( :( )

Of course he has no concept of time so this mornign he wanted to know "I go to the big school today?" I have a feeling I'm going to be hearing that pretty much EVERY day for the rest of the summer!

Monty Python Toys

2006-06-19T10:56:00.000-04:00

Ah, a site I could spend a LOT of time perusing! Let's see, so far my wish list includes

The Cow Catapult
The Lumberjack (read his description! :) )
and the Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth slippers

heehee!

Shitty Coffee

2006-06-15T12:09:00.001-04:00

No, really!

The ~~Kopi~~Common Palm Civet is a a small cat-like wild animal native to Indonesia and Vietnam with a fondness for ripe coffee cherries.

Once eaten, the coffee cherries take the normal route through the animal’s digestive path. The amazing thing is while the fruit of the coffee is being digested, the bean is left largely unchanged, eventually passing in the animals droppings.

The droppings and their caffeine-laden content are collected by farmers. The coffee, Kopi Luwak, is then cleaned and the green, un-roasted bean shipped to roasters.

Here's an account of the tasting experience from the folks at Life After Coffee: Cup of Poop

The Cube Farm Song

2006-06-15T12:08:00.000-04:00

heehee! Listen here!

Huh?

2006-06-01T09:59:00.000-04:00

That's the word that has been coming out of my son's mouth soooo much lately .... and completely stomping on my nerves!I was repeating things 4 or 5 times to him while also trying to remind him of the more polite "Pardon?"

Well his check-up with the E.N.T. doc Friday showed the reason for all the repeating; he's got mild to moderate hearing loss! Smack me over the head with a DUH! for that one!

Apparently as he's grown, the tubes C. had put in a couple of years ago have shifted and are basically doing squat at the moment. For whatever reason these things happen, he has a fluid build-up behind his eardrums and this is the likely culprit for the hearing loss.

SO both a relief and a worry all at the same time!

The ENT wants to see C. in 6 weeks to see if the fluid drains away at all & also because his adenoids were enlarged & the doc wants to see if that was a lingering cold or if they need to come out. We're definitely looking at more surgery though, poor guy!

Meanwhile, it'll be at least 3 months before the surgery so C. & I are trying to learn some ASL to help our communication problems. Wish us luck!

Sensory Information Dysfunction

2006-05-25T10:33:00.000-04:00

Bet you're looking at the title of this post and going HUH?! What the heck is THAT?! This is what my beloved son has. It's not been officially diagnosed, but between all the reading & research I've been doing, conversations with parents of children with this same whatever-you-want-to-label-it & a conversation with an expert, I'm pretty darn sure it's what my son & I are facing.

Basically it means he's tactile-sensitive. He freaks out if his socks are on wrong, will NOT waear jeans or overalls because they don't "feel right", much prefers fleecy fabrics to anything else, has a need to touch things more than other children his age, is in heaven in the fabric store, hates kids to be in "his space" when they're not actively playign together, needs lots of bear hugs but doesn't like lots of kisses, HATES haveing his hair brushed or washed, freaks out over his hands being dirty or sticky .....

I'd never heard of this until recently. I've always thought of my son as "sensitive" and a big of a "difficult" child. He's also VERY loving and adorable and knows how to use those to his advantage ;) EVERY caregiver has said the same thing about him - "He's adorable and so lovabel but he's also a pill!"

Having *finally* figured out there there's somethign behind this I have now got him on a waiting list for Occupational Therapy - who knows how long that wait could be!

Anyywas, I just felt the need to write a little about it so there you go, dear reader-who-stumbled-across-this-blog-randomly, a little lesson abotu a little-known "disorder"! :)

New Apple Store

2006-05-23T13:19:00.000-04:00

I love the new apple store look - check it out! Reminds me of the one-way glass bathroom pics that were circulating some time ago!

Dance, Dance, Dance!

2006-05-12T07:23:00.000-04:00

It's embarassing actually how much of this I recognized! Very funny! Watch this!

I hate myself

2006-05-10T13:13:00.000-04:00

I just had one of theose moments where I caught sight of my reflection in a full-length mirror .. and the sight was enough to make me want to run home and get under the covers and not come out again unless dressed in something shapeless.

Between the latest meds and other stresses I have put on WAY more weight than I am comfortable with.

I hate what I see in the mirror.

I am a big fat pear. I have a HUGE butt and one of those awful hanging bellies.

I HATE me right now.

I know my activity level is bad. I know my eating habits stink. I know my meds make me more prone to weight gain. I know I have a LOT of stressors right now.

I still hate myself for letting things get to this point. I hate that many pants are getting tight. I hate the way I look in most of my clothes.

*SIGH*

I DID take that big butt out for a walk in the glorious sunshine at least after that awful glimpse.

But I still hate myself.

Baby + hand-knit socks = CUTENESS!

2006-05-09T13:44:00.000-04:00

Shamelessly showing off both my new baby niece and the cute lil' baby socks I knit for her! :)

Need a Cuddle?

2006-05-09T12:02:00.000-04:00

Feeling touch-deprived? Check out this site:

Cuddle Party

The descirbe themselves as "A boundary-appropriate workshop and social event for exploring touch, affection and communication." I call it wierd!

New cousin

2006-05-08T12:46:00.000-04:00

My little guy holds his 2-day old cousin ever-so-carefully; aren't they sweet?

Julianna Joy

2006-05-06T16:29:00.000-04:00

Julianna Joy
Originally uploaded by bluebunny.

I'm an Auntie!!! My brother and his wife welcomed their first baby, a daughter, into the world Friday May 5th at 3:03 am. Isn't she gorgeous??

Cute Overload! ;)

2006-05-04T10:40:00.000-04:00

Cute Overload! ;)

Taxes Done!

2006-05-02T11:36:00.000-04:00

Yay me! I got my taxes done & in the post by about noon yesterday, a good improvement over 9pm last year, lol! I'm such a procrastinator! I'm apparently getting a nice chunk of change back, wooo-hoo!

I'd be even MORE excited if it didn't all have to go straight to bills! Ah well, it's still a Good Thing!

Some babbling

2006-05-01T10:21:00.000-04:00

Well I haven't posted in a VERY long time! Not that I think there's anyone out there who's been watching & waiting for a post, lol!

I returned to work part-time at the end of January. At first work was awful. I felt miserable every day and the depression got worse. I went through a good two & 1/2 months of not having a SINGLE "good" day.

Then I got my annual performance review.

It was AWFUL! Thank goodness it was only the draft as I have never before seen such a document as hurtful and untruthful as this! I ranted, raved, cried, worried and finally got to a point where I could tackle the thing calmly and cooly. After MUCH discussion the thing got reviewed to a point I could live with. After that somehow daily work wasn't so hard to endure!

Last week I FINALLY had a GOOD day! What relief! A sunny, warm day, with some unexpected good news that will make my financial struggles a bit easier, a day to do some reading and knitting and quilting, an afternoon of playing with my son, and snuggles at bedtime and a brain that actually LET me enjoy all that! Long overdue!

For now the sun is shining & I hope it stays that way for a while!

Rough Go

2005-12-28T00:04:00.000-05:00

A little while ago I was diagnosed as having clinical depression. Something I can't just square my shoulders & deal with the way I'm used to dealing with everything else in my life. Clnical depresion means my brain is sick in essence. (quit laughing!!!!)

Tonight is a bad night.

I have no idea why this night. nothing happened to set it off or anything like that. But I feel so bloody alone and so lost. I feel like I am unworthy of love and sympathy unless there is something icky going on, but then when something bad IS going on I start to feel like I'm whining. I feel so isolated sometimes. I know I should feel greatful, blesed, lucky eben.

I have a gorgeous & charming 3-year old, I have friends who care about my greatly (though sadly they are many miles away), I have a roof over my head, some food in the house, clothes for my son & I, a stable & reliable job ...

But I feel sad. I feel like bawling, but there's another part of my brqin that scolds me for feelign that way.

I feel like I'm constantly at war with myself. Second-guessing myself, criticizing myself, never gentle or kind to myself.

I can't muster the energy to get out much & sometimes answering e-mail seems a chore. I push myself to do these things anyways & sometimes it helps for a while & other times it makes not even a dent.

It's like living in a thick fog.

*SIGH*

Charlie Brown Tree

2005-11-17T09:37:00.000-05:00

Urban Outfitters is selling the sad little tree for $24.00. I thnk I could manage to create my own for under $5!

Mr. Suicide Bathtub Plug

2005-09-20T22:31:00.000-04:00

I personally think he needs little cement blocks on his feet too .....

Giant Pink Bunny

2005-09-20T21:25:00.000-04:00

This is the work of a Viennese art group called Gelatin.

The bunny is 200 feet long -- a toy rabbit "knitted by dozens of grannies out of pink wool". The toy is expected to stay there, on the side of this 5,000 foot high mountain (Colletto Fava in northern Italy's Piedmont region) for 20 years, until 2025.

Gelatin says it was "knitted by dozens of grannies out of pink wool".

Group member Wolfgang Gantner said: "It's supposed to make you feel small, like Gulliver. You walk around it and you can't help but smile."

I say "huh?"

iPod Flea

2005-07-12T09:13:00.000-04:00

Great spoof video!

iPod Wireless Headphones

2005-07-12T09:00:00.000-04:00

MicroMedia paper

2005-06-10T10:43:00.000-04:00

This is so cool! The MicroMedia player looks and feels like a regular snapshot you'd send in the mail, but there are VCR-like controls that play the embedded media. Video and audio could be accessed by techno-phobes. The backside of the sheet could hold a handwritten note, a nice touch for anyone who longs for the old days of postcards and letters.

Perfect for sending to grandparents!

Origami Boulder

2005-05-31T09:42:00.000-04:00

In the words of the seller:
"YOU BUY WADDED UP PAPER NOW!!!!"

What Lies Beneath

2005-05-25T08:30:00.000-04:00

It never before occurred to me to peek behind paintings or mirrors in hotel rooms. Secret Wall Tatoo

Child Monitor

2005-05-12T16:17:00.000-04:00

ionkids.jpg
ionKids has developed a child monitoring system that consists of two components, a tamper-proof bracelet worn by the child, and a base unit that allows a parent to monitor the child's location.

The cool looking bracelet, (called a Wristag) is worn by the child,and is both water and tamper resistant and will need a special key to be taken off of the child’s wrist. It also has sensors that can detect the child’s skin and can perceive whether the gap between the skin and the device is getting larger, in which case it will set off an alarm, both on the wristag and on the base unit. The base unit, on the other hand, is kept by the parent, who can monitor up to four children simultaneously.

Every few seconds, ionTechnology™ simultaneously changes the transmission frequency, Wristag ID and corresponding information in the Base Unit, significantly reducing the chances that a third party can scan or monitor a child's Wristag.

The Escape Artist

2005-04-19T08:38:00.000-04:00

Well, my toddler took a few years off my life on the weekend!

I was on the computer & he was watching tv & he told me he'd be "right back!" I didn't think anything of it. Just as I hit "send" on the e-mail I'd been typing, I heard him call my name & he sounded distant. I figured he'd crawled under the couch again & went looking for him. Well, I could not find him anywhere & he wouldn't respond to my calling him.

I started to get that awful panicky feeling because somehow I knew he wasn't in the house. I'd locked the front door & it was still locked, so he couldn't have gone out that way. I hadn't thought he could open the back door & the yard is fenced in so I should have been able to see him if he was there. I looked there anyways & could'nt see him. Ran back inside & did a quick look again around the house, calling for him but by now I was sure he wasn't there.

Finally I went to the back door & called out to him to come get a muffin (one of his favourite snacks) hoping I'd at least get a response, and thank gooness I heard him call me!

The little BUGGER had got the back door open, crawled under the fence & hid there while I was calling him!

Lots of hugs & lots of scolding & a now always locked back door!

Big Mess

2005-04-19T08:33:00.000-04:00

My little guy decided it would be fun to spread rolled oats all over the kitchen floor - at least he was willing to help clean-up!

CBC Radio | 50 Tracks | The List

2005-03-31T13:46:00.000-05:00

CBC's list of the top 50 essential Canadian songs.

Easter Egg Hunt

2005-03-29T13:27:00.000-05:00

Sampling
Originally uploaded by bluebunny.

My little guy stops to sample the chocolate! :)

Saturday Morning

2005-03-19T08:58:00.000-05:00

It's been a long week! My toddler has not been sleeping well at night and I've been experimenting with the *perfect* level of coffee to cope - apparently seven cups in one day is a little too much!

Yesterday was expecially fun as whatever mad scientist is in charge of these things decided it would fun if ds spiked a fever only a week after his latest febrile convulsion. I was glad that the daycare was able to give him a dose of tylenol, but when that didn't budge his temperature, I raced over with heart in mouth to give him a second dose, and whisked him off to the walk-in. By the time the doctor saw us, the little guy's temperature had finally decided to come within sight of normal. BIG sigh of relief!

Ds was nice enough to actually sleep in until 7:30 this morning so I'm only on cup #2 of coffee. He's watching Shrek and I'm trying to untangle the dog from my current knitting project *rolleyes*.

7 inches longer

2005-03-14T22:18:00.000-05:00

C'mon, you want know you want to take a peek!(video/x-ms-asf Object)

In Honour of International Women's Day

2005-03-08T13:23:00.000-05:00

What use would women have of a university education?
Why should women want to keep their earnings for themselves?
Who would want to be treated by a woman doctor?

Play BBC's game by knocking on the doors of Victorian opportunity - but don't expect too much too soon!

Which Website Are You?

2005-03-08T13:14:00.000-05:00

BBspot - Which Website Are You?

Appriopriately enough, I was blogger.com! What about you?

Numanuma

2005-03-06T18:47:00.000-05:00

Words fail me - just watch it.

Jabberwocky Creature

2005-03-06T17:18:00.000-05:00

I love this interpretation of what a slithy tove from the Lewis Carrol poem The Jabberwocky would look like!

Waiting for lunch

2005-03-03T10:51:00.000-05:00

Toll Booth Experiments

2005-03-02T13:57:00.000-05:00

A commuter decides to test the limits of tollbooths.

Scared

2005-02-26T08:32:00.000-05:00

Caffeinated lip balm

2005-02-21T09:18:00.000-05:00

I really, really, really want some Spazzstick!

Things I hate about my Flatmate

2005-02-18T12:20:00.000-05:00

Things I hate about my Flatmate

Knitting trials

2005-02-17T21:44:00.000-05:00

Hat Pattern Pic
Originally uploaded by bluebunny.

Here's a pic of the hat I attempted to start yesterday. I glanced over the pattern, figured I had it down & started in. Working on it at lunch time today I realized it was looking much pointer than I wanted it to.

Re-read the instructions. After frogging, re-starting, frogging again, re-reading instructions and finally checking in with my online group I finally figured out the problem ... turns out the method I learned for making a stitch isn't the common one & my method threw the whole pattern off! yeeesh!

So anyways, you can see my current CO there in the pic with the first row of the increases finally worked correctly!

Sink Faucet is all that remains

2005-02-17T09:51:00.000-05:00

A sink faucet is the only thing left standing in the kitchen of James Abney's home after it was struck by a tornado associated with Hurricane Ivan last Fall.

Overpriced jar-opener

2005-02-17T09:43:00.000-05:00

I find it hard to believe there is a big market for a $50 jar opener!

What a rack!

2005-02-17T09:01:00.000-05:00

Tsunami Revelation

2005-02-16T11:43:00.000-05:00

The waters that killed thousands have brought to life creations of the past.

Ananova - Gay penguins won't go straight

2005-02-15T09:17:00.000-05:00

A German zoo's plans to tempt its gay penguins to go straight by importing more females has been declared a failure.

Monty & his chicken

2005-02-12T07:18:00.000-05:00

monty and chicken
Originally uploaded by bluebunny.

Monty is pretending to be above playing with his knitted chicken, but really, he loves it!

Boing! Boing!

2005-02-07T09:24:00.000-05:00

How irritating would those springs get after a while do you think?

Watermelon Carving

2005-02-03T16:14:00.000-05:00

Wonder how long it took to carve this??

Heavy load

2005-02-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

That's a lot of beer!

A Month of Softies

2005-02-01T15:55:00.000-05:00

Nice collaboration & really interesting way of combinging technology & creativity! A Month of Softies

Apple hat

2005-01-28T07:15:00.000-05:00

Apple hat again
Originally uploaded by bluebunny.

I love projects like this! This pattern took roughly 1 CSI and one Law & Order episode to knit up! :)

Duct tape bike

2005-01-19T13:26:00.000-05:00

new kind of advertising

2005-01-19T11:27:00.000-05:00

Hard up for cash? Maybe you should try this guy's strategy

Is it Art?

2005-01-19T11:17:00.000-05:00

What do you think, does this guy's stuff qualify as art?

Life, the Universe and Everything

2005-01-19T10:52:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited about the coming of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie this summer! :)

Get the Drunk Home

2005-01-17T20:21:00.000-05:00

How far towards home can get the drunk? - Move your mouse left or right to keep him on balance - post how far you get him below! Warning, highly addictive :)

Something's Not Quite Right Here

2005-01-17T09:44:00.000-05:00

Hmm ... something's not quite right with this picture ......

Cat-A-Pult

2005-01-12T21:01:00.000-05:00

Do cats really always land on their feet? With the Cat-A-Pult you can put the old saying to the test by flinging felines across the room. Just load one of the 1-3/8' (3.5 cm) plastic cats into the 5-3/4' (14.6 cm) plastic shooting device and pull the trigger! It's the best thing since cat juggling! 4 cats included.

Mike the Headless Chicken

2005-01-12T20:53:00.000-05:00

Just go read the story!

Things We Will Never See On Star Trek

2005-01-12T20:46:00.000-05:00

To give you a sample of what's on this list:

Kirk meets a woman whom he's known for years but never had sex with.
Sulu and Chekov get to do something interesting.
The deflector shields hold through the duration of the battle.
Picard ignores Troi and blows the enemy out of the sky, in spite of their "distressed" feelings.
A crewman getting addicted to living out violent and or sexual fantasies on the holodeck and having to be forceably removed.

Dumb Computers

2005-01-12T20:42:00.000-05:00

Computer scientist Arthur Boran developed amongst other unusual programs, one known as IDMBH - an acronym for I did my best, honest! Not only has IDMBH thus far failed to solve a single problem or even retrieve one piece of data, it has also generated an impressive variety of inane excuses, ranging from I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WANTED IT TODAY to THE DOG ERASED IT.